I find myself trapped

Trapped in a prison of my own making

Confined by my thoughts

Confined by my rules

The only escape lies past the door

The door I am guarding.

Each escaped I am hounded

Hounded by a shadow of myself.

Even when free, I find myself in a new prison

Guarded by me.

For wherever I go wherever I am,

I create my own prison.

Just had another one of my nice long meditations. It has been some time that I have been able to stack two 45 minutes and one 30 minute meditation within a day.  There is something really sweet about the long meditations. At first it is a struggle just to keep meditating.

I was talking with my HBI coach, and I am trying to awaken. Awaken to the truth to reality. I always so spritualiy and or many of the out of the ordinary experiences as imaginary or flirting with an imaginary world. The main reason is because there is no one there to confrim the validity of MY experience. I needed and SADLY I still need the Do to confrim and approve the experience. I have recently come to realize I rend to feel crazy or scared because I am scared of losing touch with reality.