Just had another one of my nice long meditations. It has been some time that I have been able to stack two 45 minutes and one 30 minute meditation within a day.  There is something really sweet about the long meditations. At first it is a struggle just to keep meditating. My trick around that is to do a shorter meditation 25-30 minutes at some time earlier in the day.  This appears to raise my tonal and take care of something of the bulkier easier energy shifts.  It also feels like it clears some links to Gaia from my energy field.  Then later I am more prepared to engage in the longer meditation without if feeling like Chinese torture.  Of course a ridiculous amount of stretching is a pre-requisite, the Chinese torture thing once again.

So I assumed the position and started.  The first 10 minutes like usual are difficult.  Still shifting gears.  I am babbling about everything including my disappointment in the frequency I am feeling on my lower chakra.  However, I also know this is the routine.  I have been here many times.  One of my favorite sayings is very appropriate, "This too shall pass".  And low and behold within the next minute I have hit a new level.  The slight aggravation is gone.  I am starting to cruise.  There remains difficulty but it is now manageable.  I start to alternate between really enjoying this and complaining.  The deeper I go into the meditation a new struggle surfaces.  It becomes clear there are some things I need to surrender.  I am able to feel this amazing frequency mostly in my heart chakra.  However, it is fleeting often interrupted by tension in my neck.  It is like the frequency is so wonderful that there is an automatic reaction to try and hold it keep it contain it.  This reaction breeds tension.  I have been here before,  each time I surrendered willing to let "THIS TOO PASS" and somehow it stayed longer and then passed leaving in its wake a deeper calm and a less perceptible frequency.  However, I knew it was something truly to behold.  Couldn't feel it I just knew.  So this time I tried to surrender.  However, sometimes surrender is a strange thing.  It is almost like the immense ill I am using to stay focused on the spot and keep the babbler in check is preventing surrender.  IT is like I need to change gears.  In the past doing several surrender sessions separately helped.  I then let go of the expectation to surrender and accept that my meditation will be what it will be.

I keep on oscillating between bliss and tension.  However, content to oscillate to bliss and become aware of the tension.  There is one thing I truly enjoyed..  The length of the meditation allowed me to see clearer and deeper.  It was almost a place of repose.  Yes, that is what I seek, until I can surrender that quest.  Relaxing in the Chakra....  To transform my meditation from a battleground into a retreat.

Good Journeys!